CHIRP: The Chicago Independent Radio Project

Dustin Drase writes

DMX for President!

XXL Magazine tracked down rapper DMX to interview him in honor of the 10-year anniversary of his classic 1998 debut, It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot. What follows is an excerpt of the hilariously amazing exchange that was had when the interviewer asked DMX about the current political race.

Are you following the presidential race?

Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.

His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.

Barack?!

Barack.

What the CHIRP is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.

Barack Obama?

Yeah.

What the CHIRP?! That ain’t no CHIRPin’ name, yo. That ain’t that CHIRP’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the CHIRP outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.

I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…

Wow, Barack! The CHIRP’s name is Barack. Barack? CHIRP named Barack Obama. What the CHIRP, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his CHIRPin’ name. Ima tell this CHIRP when I see him, “Stop that CHIRP. Stop that CHIRP” [laughs] “That ain’t your CHIRPin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?

Nope.

Is that why you’re not following it?

No, because it’s just—it doesn’t matter. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. It doesn’t really make a difference. These are the last years.

But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge.

I mean, I guess…. What, they gon’ give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should’ve done that CHIRP a long time ago, we wouldn’t be in the CHIRPin’ position we in now. With world war coming up right now. They done CHIRPed this CHIRP up then give it to the Black people, “Here you take it. Take my mess.”

Right, exactly.

It’s all a CHIRPin’ setup. It’s all a setup. All CHIRPin’ CHIRP. All CHIRP. I don’t give a CHIRP about none of that.

We could have a female president also, Hillary Clinton.

I mean, either way it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. No one person is directly affected by which president, you know, so what does it matter.

Yeah, but the country is.

I guess. The president is a puppet anyway. The president don’t make no damn decisions.

The president…they don’t have that much authority basically?

Nah, never.

But Bush pretty much…

You think Bush is making CHIRPin’ decisions?

He did, yeah, he CHIRPed up the country.

He act like he making decisions. He could barely speak! He could barely CHIRPin’ speak!

Can’t be serious. He ain’t making no damn decisions.

Well Barack has a good chance of winning so that might be something.

Good for him, good for him.

Read the entire article (free from our ludicrous censoring) here.